In my own personal life, the topic of letting go has popped up in different ways as a reminder so I felt like this time around I would like to touch on that topic.
When you are bullied, dealing with it , going thru if , over it. It feels like your worth has been chipped away bit by bit and you fight to gain that strength back and you will. Having done that , no matter how long ago it was , wether you are young or old you still feel the anger, the sadness,the humiliation and even resentment of it all. There might be a possibility that you are still on the that negativity. That has to be acknowledged and dealt with in a positive way.
Try this 5 Ways to Let Go of Past Hurts
1. Make the decision to let it go.
Those feelings has to firstly be acknowledged, accepted in order for you to make the commitment to “let it go.” Making the decision to let it go also means accepting you have a choice to let it go.To stop reliving the past pain, feeling that you are living in that story.
- Express your pain and your responsibility.
Express the pain the hurt made you feel, whether it’s directly to the other person, or through just getting it out of your system (like venting to a friend, or writing in a journal, or writing a letter you never send to the other person). Get it all out of your system at once. Doing so will also help you understand what specifically your hurt is about.
We don’t live in a world of black and white, even when sometimes it feels like we do. While you may not have had the same amount of responsibility for the hurt you experienced, there may have been a part of the hurt that you are also partially responsible for. What could you have done differently next time? Are you an active participant in your own life, or simply a hopeless victim? Will you let your pain become your identity? Or are you someone deeper and more complex than that??
- Stop being the victim and blaming others or even yourself
Being the victim feels good, it’s like being on the winning team of you against the world. But guess what? The world largely doesn’t care, so you need to get over yourself. Yes, you’re special. Yes, your feelings matter. But don’t confuse with “your feelings matter” to “your feelings should override all else, and nothing else matters.” Your feelings are just one part of this large thing we call life, which is all interconnected, extremely complex and messy at times.
In every moment, you have that choice to continue to feel bad about another person’s actions, or to start feeling good. You need to take responsibility for your own happiness, and not put such power into the hands of another person. Why would you let the person who hurt you in the past have such power, right here, right now? And they probably don’t spend a single second remembering what they have done while you are carrying all those negative feelings. Your energy can be better channeled elsewhere.
- Focus on the present, the here, the now and joy.
Now it’s time to let go. Let go of the past, and stop reliving it. Stop telling yourself that story where the protagonist you is forever the victim of this other person’s horrible actions. You can’t undo the past, all you can do is to make today the best day of your life.
When you focus on the here and now, you have less time to think about the past. When the past memories creep into your consciousness (as they are bound to do from time to time), acknowledge them for a moment. And then bring yourself gently back into the present moment. Some people find it easier to do this with a conscious cue, such as saying to yourself, “It’s alright. That was the past, and now I’m focused on my own happiness and doing _______________.”
Remember, if we crowd our brains and lives with hurt feelings, there’s little room for anything positive. It’s a choice you’re making to continue to feel the hurt, rather than welcoming joy back into your life.
- Forgive them and yourself.
We may not have to forget another person’s bad behaviors, but virtually everybody deserves our forgiveness. Sometimes we get stuck in our pain and our stubbornness, we can’t even imagine forgiveness. But forgiveness isn’t saying, “I agree with what you did.” Instead, it’s saying, “I don’t agree with what you did, but I forgive you anyway.”
Forgiveness isn’t a sign of weakness. Instead, it’s simply saying, “I’m a good person. . You did something that hurt me. But I want to move forward in my life and welcome joy back into it. I can’t do that fully until I let this go.”
Forgiveness is a way of tangibly letting something go.
And forgiving yourself may be an important part of this step as well, as sometimes we may end up blaming ourselves for the situation or hurt. While we indeed may have had some part to play in the hurt, there’s no reason you need to keep beating yourself up over it. If you can’t forgive yourself, how will you be able to live in future peace and happiness?
“ ____________.I forgive you for feeling (this way) (for what scenario) You always did the best you could.” At that time that was enough. “
It’s incredibly challenging to let go of that pain. No one should or could deny the pain that we’ve held onto it for a long time, it feels like an old friend. Justified. Yes.Perhaps. But, nobody’s life should be defined by their pain. It’s not healthy, it adds to our stress, it hurts our ability to focus, study and work, and it impacts every other relationship we have (even the ones not directly affected by the hurt). Every day you choose to hold on to the pain is another day everybody around you has to live with that decision. And feel its consequences.
So do everybody and yourself a big favor: Let go of the pain. Do something different today and welcome happiness back into your life.
Till next time
#Createe #CreateeKit #BeFree #letitgo #antibullying #esteembuilding